My apartment has been leaking for a good month now. It began as innocent drips that I thought was built up condensation that later turned into mold-growing-wall-bending flooding. I used every blanket to soak up the murk, but it just wasn’t enough. Blankets aren’t meant to be absorbent.
My neighbors and I finally resolved the issue when the plumber unclogged the condensation line. Problem resolved. Walls still bent. I wonder if the building will pay up, probably not. I will find out this week.
My cat, who just turned 10 9 days ago, has been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. Funnily enough, I thought I had hyperthyroidism when I was just 18, a few weeks into college. I was so tired all the time. I still am so tired all the time. I don’t remember the last time I woke up with a will for the day. I am not worried about her. She is Chinese. She will get on prescription diet and live a healthy, long life. That’s just that. In my opinion, the condition will only get worse if you yearn for it.
My blood test results from the hospital should arrive by 6am this morning. I am looking forward to seeing my glucose levels. I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes last year, and I’ve tried to be less greedy about drinking sugar ever since. For the first 22 years of my life, I drank nothing but juice, soda and more juice. I said sugar free energy drinks were pussies, until that was the only thing I could review on my instagram.
My weight is the heaviest I’ve ever seen it. Yet, I feel a sense of serendipity. Could I use this word in this situation? I don’t know, but I felt fine about it. I remember going to the doctors growing up, fearing the fate of a woman bearing more weight. Each time I converted kg to lb, I thought to myself, I’m going to be skinnier by the next weigh in. This time, it didn’t bring me any form of sensation to see the numbers on the scale. I don’t know when it happened, but at some point this year, I no longer yearned for some thinned version of myself. Wasn’t the point always radical acceptance? The point was always to release myself from the shackles of self police. Once I stopped myself from feeling repulsed by change in my body, I was free. I feel fabulous. I am just as beautiful as yesterday, if not more. I am more beautiful today because with each day, I am wiser. Being wise stands the test of time.
shari wei 